The Holidays are almost here, which means we’re sending out a bunch of cards. While I was writing some of the cards, my mind wandered (surprise!). As I stared at the blank cards, I found myself wondering, “What do I say to them?”
It’s not because I had a falling out with my family. Quite the contrary. I don’t think I could have asked for a better family. I just haven’t kept in touch with them, even after telling them I would many times. I hate it, but it feels like the “out of sight, out of mind” concept has planted itself deep in my mind.
I see them on Facebook all the time, and I read their statuses and click “like” quite often. After hitting the button a few times, it dawned on me how sad it is that my only form of communication with most of my family is, at most, a comment on Facebook—not even a message. I can’t remember the last time I messaged one of my family members without it being about getting an address or some sort of information. And the worst part is…
That’s an improvement.
I remember my uncle mentioning that I talked to them more when I lived 600 miles away (growing up with my parents), than when I lived less than 100 miles away in college. Of course it struck a cord, and I said I would try harder, but then they were out of sight.
I didn’t see them because my life was more important me than theirs was. I hate to admit that, but it’s completely true. I could have driven to see them once a month, but I used excuses like not having enough money for gas (which they would have paid for) or having to work too much. In reality, I was just too focused on myself.
Now that I’ve graduated and my life has settled, has it gotten any better?
If you count the scarce interactions on Facebook, I guess it has improved a little. And I did try writing some of my family members letters for a while, but after a couple months, things “got too busy” again. I had all the right intentions when I said that I would keep in touch. I really did. I just got distracted and forgot about the best family I could have ever asked for.
It was really hard to type those words. I even thought about deleting them a few times, but I can’t sugar coat it. Not any more.
If you were to look at my New Year’s Resolution List, you would see that writing to my family is the third one down. I wrote the items on there in order of which I though I was most likely to complete them. I figured that reading was going to be easy, as I either have my books on my phone or carry them with me. Writing a blog post is easy, too, because that’s just typing on a computer, which I do anyway.
But writing to my family is the first item on the list that’s going to take real commitment. That’s the one that I’m not only going to have to make time for and find all the materials, but I also have to open up and put real thoughts and feelings on paper. I have to constantly put my family at the front of my mind, so I don’t lose them like I did Taylor.
I bought a few things to help with the process—to make it more exciting. I know that it won’t guarantee success, but I have to try. I need to make them more than just living memories. I need to make new memories with them.