Improving My EQ

What is EQ? EQ is basically your Emotional IQ. According to Dictionary.com, EQ is “a(notional)measureofaperson’sadequacyin suchareasasselfawareness,empathy,anddealingsensitivelywith otherpeople.”

One of my biggest problems is that, while I may have a high IQ, my EQ is a bit lacking. I’ve always had trouble connecting with people on an emotional level. It’s not that I don’t care. I just feel like I have a void where most people have a wealth of emotions.

Thanks to Audible‘s (not sponsored) holiday 2-for-1 book special, I was able to pick up a few self-help lecture series for really cheap. After gathering all these goodies, I decided to make my New Years Resolution that I listen to, and apply, all of the lectures throughout the year.

Now, having just downloaded several audiobooks, I had to make a decision (ironically, one of the lecture series has to do with decisiveness). I asked my wife what she thought, and we both agreed that I should listen to Boosting Your Emotional Intelligence, narrated by Professor Jason M. Satterfield.

By the time I finished listening to the first lecture, I knew that big changes were coming. I’ve been able to on identify and control my emotions at a level that I’ve never been able to before. That in and of itself is a big win for me and my family, but I’ve also been learning a lot about the incredible power of EQ. It can obviously improve a person’s personal life, but it’s one of the biggest influences on the success of someone’s career.

One of my big takeaways so far has been the “36 Questions That Lead to Love“. No, I’m not looking for a new wife. Everything is great on that front. It’s actually a series of questions that are intended to bring two people closer regardless of their relationship. As a matter of fact, I’m using these questions to help grow my relationship with my parents right now.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know that I lost my cousin a few years ago. He was the closest person I had to a brother, and it hurt like hell when I lost him. It really opened my eyes to how much I’ve been taking my relationships for granted, and how quickly it can all be taken away.

Unfortunately, I haven’t applied that revelation very well since then, so I’m pushing myself to grow closer to those that mean the most to me. It’s out of my comfort zone, but the benefits far outweigh the discomfort. If you have someone in your life that you want to grow closer to, I highly recommend that you use these questions to start conversations with them.

Never stop loving.

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I’m a Multipotentialite

My wife was cleaning our office the other night and wanted to listen to something to help break up the monotony. She decided to listen to some TED talks on the computer, when she stumbled across this video about people who struggle with specializing in their careers and interests. After listening to it, she immediately sent me a text and told me I had to watch it, because it reminded her of me so much.

So I watched it.

She was right (yes, I said it: my wife was right). The speaker described me almost perfectly. She described people like me as “multipotentialites” because we’re always trying new things. Not only do we try many new things, but we dive into them head first.

One of my wife’s biggest complaints when we first got married was that I spent ridiculous amounts of money on hobbies, when I usually lost interest within a couple months—hardly enough time to break in all the fancy new equipment. And she was right.

I love to try new things, and every new thing is “going to be my calling” in my mind. So my mind starts racing and I start to do all the research and planning. Then, I politely ask her if I can get stuff for it, and she usually lets me get the very basics. Of course I feel let down, but that’s just because I can’t go all in like I used to.

And, big shock, the stuff I buy usually ends up sitting in the garage for months or I sell it when I find my next big attraction. So again, she’s right. I’m starting to see a pattern here.

The funny thing is, I was recently thinking about writing a post describing all the hobbies and interests I’ve had in the past, so the timing of her video suggestion timing was perfect.

So here goes. Here are all of my past hobbies and interests that I can remember:

  • Blogging
  • Golf (my current hobby)
  • Novel Writing (still in progress)
  • Astronomy
  • Disc Golf
  • Hockey
  • Journaling
  • Calligraphy
  • Learn French
  • Learn Spanish
  • Flying (ran out of money, but still going to finish this one)
  • Speed Skating (ice and dry land)
  • Curling
  • Karting
  • Wood Carving
  • Podcasting
  • YouTube Channel
  • Blacksmithing
  • Pottery
  • Model Ships
  • Model Warships (that shoot BBs and actually sink)
  • R/C Airplanes
  • Boatbuilding
  • Rowing
  • Sailing
  • Model Roc
  • Triathlon
  • Cartography
  • Architecture
  • Engineering
  • Wilderness Survival
  • Navigation by Stars
  • Movie Production
  • Photography
  • Stop Motion
  • Computer Coding
  • Game Design/Development

There you have it. Those are most of the hobbies that have come and gone over the past decade or so of my life. Some of them were little more than just reading, watching videos, and taking a few lessons. Others put me in debt.

Being a multipotentialite can be expensive and frustrating to me those around me, but it also allows me to experience many new things that most people wouldn’t. As the speaker in the video said, “Multipotentialites, with all of their backgrounds, are able to access a lot of these points of intersection.”

One of the things that my wife has told me is that she’s a bit jealous that I’ve experienced so many different things in my life without hesitation. I may not be an expert in anything, except my current career, but I can use little bits here and there from my list to approach things from a multitude of unique angles.

Simply put, I’m a kaleidoscope of knowledge and experience. Each of my pieces may not make a full, logical picture, but together they make something beautiful.

I Haven’t Forgotten You

IMG_20141205_094818-17801829[1]Hey, guess what. I failed to post every week like I said I would. I think this is the fourth week since my last post. I apologize. I would be a liar if I said I didn’t have time, because I did. I simply haven’t had the motivation to post. I’ve opened the page several times and even started a couple posts, but I lost interest or got distracted before finishing.

I believe it’s another extension of my wonderful disorder. Just like all the other projects I’ve started, I eventually get bored and find myself searching for my next “fix” of something new.

I wonder if I’ll ever find that one hobby that holds my attention, or if I’ll just have to fight through the lulls. Perhaps I’m just meant to wander through the endless halls of interests. For now, I shall continue my search!


On that note, I will update you on a couple things and reveal my newest endeavor! First, I mentioned in a previous post that I was thinking about starting Adderall again. I have decided that I’m not going to because I don’t really have much time in my schedule to focus on the exercises that accompany it.

In case you are unfamiliar with the process, Adderall (and any other ADD medications) are designed to be used with therapy/exercises. The medication helps the person focus, so they can establish new habits and re-train their brain. Then, the medication is supposed to be reduced and eventually eliminated. Unfortunately, it can be addictive and used as a pacifier. I do not want to use any sort of medication any longer than I have to, so I don’t want to risk the addiction without a plan in place.

Second, and more artistically, I have scrapped the political thriller book and moved back to my sci-fi idea. I wrote the beginning of a chapter, but haven’t done much with it since. I Hopefully, I’ll be able to find some more time and inspiration in the near future. I’ve had little pockets of inspiration and jotted them down, but that’s been the extent of my writing lately.


Now it’s time to unleash my new idea!

I know, I know. You’ve heard this before and you’re probably a little disappointed by my lack of results. I am too. I’m not even going to promise that this will be any different. But I still want to try it.

So, what is it?

I’ve decided that I want to try to add an audio recording to each of my blog posts and use my morning/afternoon commute to PodCast! I know the audio won’t be perfect because of road noise, but I still want to try.

I think I have all the audio equipment I need, so starting it won’t be too difficult to get that part set up, but my biggest issues are going to be: setting up a reliable website (hard to do without paying monthly fees) and finding the actual time to edit.

I need your help with the first obstacle. If you have any tips on how to start a PodCast for free (and how to link it to my blog), please let me know. I’ve watched YouTube videos, but most of them suggest buying a website and all that jazz. If I do well with this project and stick with it, I’ll look into setting up all that, but I don’t want to put any more money towards it until I know it’s something that I won’t abandon.

I will continue posting on here as well, so don’t think I’m leaving you behind. I just want to add another dimension to improve your experience here!

Until next time…

ConTroll Yourself

I recently watched a video about internet trolls that was made by Shane Koyczan. He does a really good job of calling them out and expressing his years of being bullied.

I know it’s impossible to ignore them, because posting anything on the internet is like stepping on an anthill. No matter what you post, someone is going to bash it for whatever reason their twisted minds believe is justifiable.

I’ve been fortunate with my blog so far. Probably because I average about 3 viewers a day. I’m not exactly topping the results on search engines. lol

I know my day is coming, but I also know that it won’t bother me. I grew up with the internet. As is matured, so did I. I remember having to wait ten minutes for pages to load. Kids these days would go crazy if they had to wait that long just to see one picture of a giraffe. Online videos were only dreams.

But I digress.

As I was saying, I grew up with the internet. I learned how to survive the world wide web via chat rooms and forums. I know what to expect and who to pay attention to. Trolls are on my list of “Nice try, but I’ll continue on.” They are simply words on a screen.

With that said, however, I also know that the younger generation is finding more and more of its identity online. I heard of a rehabilitation center in China for teens who are addicted to the internet. One kid said he spent three days at an internet cafe! I know that’s an extreme case, but it goes to show how kids are depending on the internet more and more to give them their emotional fulfillment.

Add all that together, and you get a perfect storm for trolls. They know their words mean something to this generation. They know their words are desired as much as they are hated. They are wanted, yet feared. Most of all, they are hidden, separated from those they hurt. Nothing ties them to their victims except a keyboard and pixels.

The part of that video that struck me most was when Shane mentioned that trolls have been responsible for people’s deaths. I didn’t even know how to react to that. The most prominent feeling I had in reaction to that was worry.

I worried because I have two kids. The oldest is 7.  She’s going to be using the internet and social media in just a few short years, and I worry that she will be overwhelmed and broken down.

I know that building her self-esteem and confidence will help, but I also know how easy it is to succumb to the pressures and mysteries of the internet. She doesn’t have the experience to know that the people trying to hurt her are only doing it for their own sick entertainment. She doesn’t know that investing her emotions into their words is a trap that not only hurts, but can kill.

Luckily, she doesn’t have much desire to use the computer yet. She has a couple educational games on it, but it doesn’t hold her attention. I just hope it continues until she’s old enough to make wise online decisions.

When all that is said and done, we have a son six years younger than her. That means we get to run the whole gambit one more time.

If you are reading this and you are a troll, please stop. It’s not funny and it ruins lives.

If you are reading this and you are NOT a troll, thank you. Feel free to leave thoughtful comments. 🙂

Adderall, Perhaps

Lately, I’ve been finding it harder and harder to stay on task and focus. Perhaps it’s due to my new job, which is mostly desk work. I have a lot to do, but I get distracted by the littlest things. I think I do alright, but I know I could be a much better worker if I wasn’t so easily distracted. I know there are mental exercises that can help, but I can’t stay focused long enough to do them. And physical exercise is out of the question with my schedule. Eating right would be good for me. I have no excuse for that one.

Every day, for about two weeks now, I’ve been contemplating whether or not to talk to my doctor about starting Adderall again. Last time I tried it, I didn’t notice any major benefits, and it made me feel funny. At that time, though, my job didn’t demand so much focus. The jobs were straightforward and easy to finish.

Now that the demand has increased, I’m wondering if I would be able to see a bigger difference. I’m not sure if I want to, but I also don’t want to risk my position. I enjoy what I do here, and I don’t want to go back to my old duties. They weren’t bad, but they also weren’t my ideal conditions (cold, wet and windy). Inside the building is much better for me.

So what do I do? I don’t know yet. I’ll talk to my wife and see if it’s viable. She might have some valuable insight for me. She usually does.

What do you think?

More Time Spent Means More Time to Spend

Writing
Writing (Photo credit: jjpacres)

Hello strangers. It’s been way too long since I’ve been on here. I hope you haven’t lost hope in me yet.

Since we last talked, I’ve been growing closer to family, more content with my job, and more whole as a person.

I’ve been spending much more time with my family than before, which has many benefits beyond those found by other means (i.e. books, games, pointless internet surfing, etc.). It still baffles me how much more free time can be found by spending more time with someone. I feel better about myself, both physically and mentally. You should definitely try it if you haven’t already.

My job has become more satisfactory for sure. I work with a great group of people and have just enough variety of tasks to keep me interested, but not overwhelmed. Although, I must say that I don’t really appreciate the cold, wet conditions I have to suffer through.

All these little factors have combined and boosted my overall sense of being. I’ve found myself more energetic and much happier than before.

Having all these epiphanies and self-reflective discoveries has helped me to refocus my life on the more important things. Don’t get me wrong, I still play games and watch sports. I just don’t do it nearly as much as I used to. I’ve also found that my growing need to write has been steadily increasing.

My favorite books to read have always been either space- or medieval-themed (most recently the series A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin), so naturally, I wanted to write a novel of a similar theme. I had a really good idea for a space sci-fi novel, even going so far as to design a few ships and character profiles; however, I found a flaw that ultimately led to me trashing the dream.

Then I had an actual dream—a dream that took me by surprise and fanned the flame for a very different novel. I never thought I’d ever have any interest in the genre, but it intrigued me. I woke up from the beginning of a political  thriller. And that’s all I’m going to say until I get a little further into the writing.

Sometimes ADHD has its surprises, both good and bad.

ADHD Gem I Found While Blog-Panning

For all you ADHD fans, here’s an interesting blog I just ran across.

Poof7797's Blog

Well, in my quest – and it is a quest –  to read this ADHD book I mentioned a while back, I’m thrilled to announce that we’ve made a step in the right direction with my son. It may seem simple or even stupid to some people, but this step has made a remarkable difference in all four kids, not just the two with ADHD. What is this wondrous miracle step, you ask? Breakfast!

Yes, breakfast. Until last month, I was fine with the kids scarfing down a bowl of cereal before they raced out the door only to then eat the free breakfast offered at the school, usually something laced with sugar that I wouldn’t make at home. I figured as long as they were eating something, they were okay. I can’t believe after all the self-education I’ve had about nutrition that I deluded myself into believing this. I…

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